Sunday, July 13, 2008

Another Breed


Two years ago my father died, and two months later my father-in-law died. It was like losing two Dads.
I had grown very close to my father-in-law, having lived in the same house with him for about 9 months as cancer slowly took his life.
A few years before that, he and his wife took in Max, who is pictured here. Max had come from an abusive relationship. He was almost autistic; very stiff in his musculature, he did not like to be touched, and did not respond to the usual games. He liked to bite strangers, including two Jehovah's Witnesses, a paperboy, and my brother-in-law. He would jump up as he barked, and bounding across the lawn, he looked a miniature guard dog as he tore to the perimeter, ensuring that noone came into the yard. We had to hold him back when we brought friends to the house.
Slowly, over the last three years, and especially since the loss of his master, Max has become more lovable, more socialized, and a beloved part of our family.
In the past three years, he has endured about 7 operations. Three years ago, a tumor was removed from his hind leg. Six months ago, we removed it again. Yesterday, we had to remove it for the third time.
This was a decision not taken lightly, as the cancer has burrowed into the surrounding tissue, very close to the femoral artery. The vet was worried about potential blood loss, as he was operating. We did not know this prior to the operation, only that the anaethesia could prove difficult for his lungs. Unfortunately, the tumour had grown to such proportions that we were also worried it would rupture.
Max is about 14 years old, we think. We don't really know. In many ways, he would suggest a younger dog, but the math seems most probable that he is about that age. He also has cancer in brain, causing him to circle sometimes, or lose his balance and fall over. He "shakes" it off, and carries on. Our vet is amazed at Max's ability to withstand pain. What would put any of us over, is not ever acknowledged. He is like an old soldier, another breed, a member of the generation that we are all losing now, like my dad and father-in-law. A tougher class.
I salute this little schnauzer for his bravery and his heroism as he battles this enemy from within. He is an inspiration to us all.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

In Your Face!


Ankles rankle and stockings dangle
Don't tempt me with treats
I'll rip off your face, Mister
Short guy complex? Its rather simple,
I'm in your face or
on your ankles.
Simple leverage.
Down to my level.
Lap dog? Get a grip.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Maisy's Faves and Raves


Likes: Bones bigger than my head;
canoodling with the Golden Doodle next door; unconventional sex with a standard poodle; end tables, carpets, underwear; eating out of Toodles bowl; harassing Max under the bed.
Dislikes: concrete cinder blocks that now block me from my Doodle paramour; other dogs who steal my bones; bitter apple spray.
Favourite saying: I don't have a short dog complex; you just don't understand, do you? Listen, I'll take you on...anyone of youse. I'm Maisy McQueen of Scott's. How dare you?

Friday, April 11, 2008

The One Eyed Dog

She's a bird dog. A poodle. Standard, but not ordinary. Superhuman, except she is a canine. On a scale of ten. Search and Destroy. Don't be fooled by her docile nature. She is a monster.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

People who start to resemble their pets

We knew it would happen.

One day we would start to resemble our pets. The changes started slowly. Our feet pads started to darken, and the toenails became more narrow, almost clawlike. The dewclaw on our heel was somewhat shocking at first. It really made a mess of my Ralph Lauren socks.
Later the body hair became more prevalent, and the tail- well it was cute at first, and don't let them tell you it doesn't have its benefits, but a desk job is hell for someone with a tail.
At least our noses are wet, and they continue to feed us regularly. I can get used to this lifestyle. Bones R Us. Running in the yard. Humping the occasional leg. You get the picture. Down. Down.... What are they talking about? So I get a little excited at times.
Ok I admit it. I did chew my brother in laws watch strap, but you know, time really flies when you're living a dog's life. I will pause now for reflections. I said reflections, not genuflections. Leg lifting is not reflections. OK I'll go lie in the corner. Gee, some people.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Pinky and the Brain


" What are we going to do today Brain?

Same thing we do everyday Pinky. Try to take over the world. "

Left to their own devices....more carnage, mayhem, chewed heart monitors, underwear, gloves (where do they find these things???).
It appears they work together. The little girl is the Brains of the outfit, the brass for sure. When they have their morning mayhem (post breakfast) its one big black blur. A ball of confusion and terror, and terrier, and oodles of poodle. The carpet liberally sprinkled with bones, the bodies are buried in the backyard.
Cupboards, doors- that's childs play. Minor obstacles on the course to many courses. She dances on her hind legs while the muscle paws her way to puppy paradise.
What should we do tonight Brain?
Same thing we do everynight Pinky. Try to take over the world.
Room by room.




Look into my eyes...you're getting sleepy..very sleepy


Hypnotized by the searching eyes
that implore me and say
I want I want you know what I want
Give it me Give it me Give it me now
Oh, I can wait. I can wait all day
because I have nothing to do,
So take your time, we're not going anywhere. What are you doing?
Not the dry. Not the dry, dummy.
The canned. You know We want the canned.
The canned. Smells like a hot dog pate.
Smoked lips and eyeliner.
Ok. It's not as bad as catfood. The poodle will eat anything. She loves a hot lunch, even from her own body.
Why just yesterday she followed me and picked it up as soon as I dropped it. Poodles, pretty sick. That's why God makes them so beautiful. So you don't become thoroughly disgusted. Drop it like its hot. Its the shizzle sandwich for the Toodle poodle. Me, I'll wait for the canned. Now look into my eyes and see my pain. I'll wait you out, old man.
I'll wait you out.